For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
