life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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