Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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