Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
