She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
