Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
