I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
