my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize