Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That's intense
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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