...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
