remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
