Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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