The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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