you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
