Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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