Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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