whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
