Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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