Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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