i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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