Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
