Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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