i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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