you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
