ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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