I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
