Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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