How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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