I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
love makes seman taste better
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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