Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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