I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
