True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
