I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
