I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The feeling are messing with the penis
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
