no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
