He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
