I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish you could order shots online.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
