I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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