He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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