remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize