News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
