literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
