i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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