If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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