I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
