I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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