More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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