I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You pole danced in your parka.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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