she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
