i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
