Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
