she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
