You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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