She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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