i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
