I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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