Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
