i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
