if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize