If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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